The Blog of Ben

COMING SOON!

2010-07-15T09:41:00.000-05:00

I cant take it anymore! I must write!

NEW BLOG POST COMING SOON!

Stay tuned!

-Ben

"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more"

2009-08-28T15:15:00.015-05:00

Have you ever won a goldfish from a carnival? Actually I don't know if "won" is the most appropriate word here seeing that for many children their first experience with death comes just moments after "winning" a goldfish from a carnival. Maybe the better question is...Have you ever been burdened with a goldfish from a carnival? The sad truth is most carny goldfish don't last long...30 minutes, a day, and for the really lucky ones a week.

When I was a child my grandmother (Nanny) had a big fresh water fish tank, complete with water filters, air pumps, fluorescent lighting, multicolored rocks, and a few small Koi fish that my aunt had my sister and I steal from the Japanese Gardens (true story). It was a nice tank...a good place to live for a fish. After attending a carnival once I brought a few little goldfish that I had "won", to my Nanny, and asked if she had a bowl I could put them in, but instead she told me to put them in the big tank with the other fish. By this time I knew the goldfish routine, and was expecting to see them belly up at any moment, but to my astonishment they made it through the night, and then the week, then a month...and a year...and finally after 2 years they finally passed on as a happy little old retired carny goldfish couple. 2 years! What was different here?

DIVINE INTERVENTION! ...or maybe it was just the environment in which they were placed was different than that of most goldfish.

If you were Ziploc bagged at birth, put in a metal wash tub, placed in another Ziploc bag, then shaken vigorously by a child that is a million times bigger than you, and then dumped into a small glass bowl I bet your life expectancy would plummet considerably. But the fish that I entrusted to my Nanny were taken care of and placed in a world designed for them.

The growth of a fish is determined by the size of it's tank...it's environment.

Here's the question.

Could the same be true for the soul of a human?

What does your soul environment look like? Is it limited? Is it close-minded? Is it suffocating you?

One of my all time favorite movie moments is in "The Wizard of Oz". Let me recap for you. Dorthy has been living in a small town in the Midwest, dusty, boring, and literally with out any color. All she had ever know was black and white. She felt very suffocated and limited. She dreamt of a place "somewhere over the rainbow". Then... her dream came true. A tornado transports Dorthy from her small Midwestern town to a place like nothing she had ever seen before... Streets of Gold, small men with lolli pops and green and white striped socks, colors that she could have never before imagined.

Her once dull, boring, black and white world... was unlocked.

In Acts chapter 1 the author recaps Jesus' last few moments on earth. This of course being after his death and resurrection.

vs 3 "After his suffering, he presented himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God. 4 On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. 5 For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit." 6 So when they met together, they asked him, "Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?" 7 He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. 8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." 9 After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight."

Due to the fact that he went everywhere on foot, and maybe every great once in a while on a donkey, Jesus covered a relatively small portion of this earth while he was here in the flesh. Even if he were to able to bring the Good News to all of the Middle East it would still be relatively small in comparison to the rest of the world. But what Jesus does here is amazing. He tells his disciples to be a witness (some one who can tell first hand about their experience) "in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and Samaria, and even the ends of the earth." He tells them that the world that they have been living in thus far has been relatively small compared to where they are about to go. He takes them from Ziploc bag, and unleashes them into a world unlike anything they had ever know.

There once limited world was ... unlocked.

How? you ask. The same way Dorthy got to Oz.

There is method to this madness. If I haven't lost you yet please continue to read.

A tornado could be described in many different scientific terms, but those of us around 4 years old and up can agree that it is basically a whole lot of air moving around and around. The Hebrew word for "air in motion" is ruach. And here is where it gets cool... This same word ruach also translates into the word...

Spirit.

"you will receive power when the Holy Spirit (ruach) comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

Her Midwestern environment was unlocked with a big powerful wind.

Their Middle Eastern environment was unlocked with a . . . big powerful wind.

I believe that sometimes on this journey we become frustrated when the historical account of Jesus' death on the cross no longer sends chills down our spine. Before I go any further let me say that I in no way shape or form am discrediting Jesus or his death on the cross. On the contrary as a matter of fact. But Jesus is alive...today. He is no longer there, he is here...today. I believe we do harm to the gospel of Jesus when only are pointing backwards to history, and not becoming a part of what God is doing now. "Amazing Grace" used to move me to tears, but after hearing it for the 5,000th time...well. Maybe I need to pray harder...maybe I need to go to church more ... maybe I need to listen to KLTY instead of JACK f.m. or maybe...we need to become Sailors, and raise our sails, and capture the ruach (wind) and allow it to move us into new environments.

Maybe you are dreaming of something new, somewhere over the rainbow, where life begins to have a purpose and meaning again. Maybe your have been missing out on all kinds of colors because it's safe in a black and white world. Maybe you feel trapped, bagged up, and suffocated.

Here's the hope

The wind wont let you stay the same person. It will take you out side of your environment, out side of your fish bowl, it will enable you to see, hear, and experience first hand (see definition of witness) a brand new world ... you will begin to love people you never thought you could love. You will begin to forgive the unforgivable. You will begin to serve people who previously you would have crossed the street to avoid. "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." to Kansas, and in all the Midwest, and America, and to the ends of the earth."

Like my goldfish you will be able to grow, and experience life in an environment for which you were created.

Like Dorthy (and Toto) you will experiance a new world transported by a very big wind to a place far from black and white.

But, a sail boat wont go far with it's sails down. To catch the wind, to catch the ruach ... your sails must be ready.

Hope lies in the wind.

Seasons Revisited.

2009-08-26T10:49:00.013-05:00

I posted this blog this time last year. Due to the content it seems a little ironic to be "looking back" at an old post, but the subject matter I believe is very pertinent for today...for me anyway, and I hope that it is for you.

"Seasons"

I'm not a big fan of Summer. Especially in Texas. The sweltering heat, and the suffocating humidity are enough to drive a person to the point of insanity. I can't count the number of people I have seen recently, walking into gas stations, driving down the road, braving a journey from parking spot to grocery store door, over a black top parking lot, just a few degrees cooler than the pits of hell. Sweat rings under the pits of even the most hygienic of people lead to furrowed brows, which leads to head ache, which leads to frustration, which leads to desperation which leads to ... insanity. Some will argue that the summer is the best of the seasons ... closed schools and swimming pools. Don't get me wrong I'm not a despiser of swimming pools, a swimming pool is good to "beat the heat" but my point is the heat would not need to be beat if the heat was non existent, or at least turned down considerably, as found in seasons such as fall, winter, and spring. For the die hard swimmers there are always year round indoor swimming facilities. As for school being out, it really doesn't affect me much, but for some of the people that I love,it brings a much needed break from the torment of the school year. So, to that I say, every thorn has its rose. Bottom line is I'm not a big fan of summer.

I can remember as a child being outside on the playground during recess on a hot summer day towards the beginning of September. The sun was waging war against me and the rest of my forth grade class mates. Then I remember it like a scene from a movie, Charlton Heston before the weather torn red sea, or like that semi-lame movie Deep Impact about the asteroid hitting earth causing monster tsunamis, and tidal waves. Everything went to slow motion as we witnessed a tidal wave of dust and leaves being pushed towards us by black and silver thunder heads on the north end of the playground. And with the dust and leaves ... arctic air. The temperature must have dropped close to 30 degrees as that one gust of wind ushered in the beginning of a new season. It was beautiful, exciting...cinematic, a day I will never forget. Ecstatic about the new season, the next day we wore sweaters and jackets during recess, it was around 75 degrees (this is Texas remember) a little warm for sweaters by most peoples standards I know, but we did not care...summer was gone, fall had arrived, and we celebrated it like a birthday, beanies being warn though...in place of party hats.

Just like the 4 seasons come and go, and come again, it is inevitable that we go through seasons and changes in our lives as well. Some are almost unbearably hot, some bring a cool breeze, some can be bitter cold, and some can bring a freshness, and new life. What saddens me is when people get overwhelmed with the season at hand, and instead of pressing on through the unbearable heat or bitter cold, they lay down and give themselves over to the vultures (or polar bears, depending on your season). The way I see it is too many people are longing for yesterday (no offence Mr. McCartney). It is so sad to see a person who thinks that their best days are behind them, the middle age man stuck in the glory days of high school football, the unsatisfied married couple who are consumed in wishing for things to be how they were "back then". The truth is yesterday is gone and will never ever be back again. We are not how we were, and things are not how they used to be. Constant comparing leads to nothing but misery and depression. If your always looking back, and holding on to how things were, then you aren't free to embrace today, and you will never be ready for the next season.

In Proverbs Solomon speaks to the person consumed with the current circumstances, he asks "So how long are you going to laze around and do nothing? how long before you get out of bed? A nap here, and nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back , take it easy - do you know what comes next? Just this: You can look forward to a dirt poor life, poverty your permanent house guest!" (Proverbs 6:6-11). Now even as wealthy as he was I don't think Solomon was preaching necessarily about monetary prosperity, after all he was the wisest man ever to live I don't think he'd put up with prosperity preaching...but that's another blog. I think Solomon is speaking about harvesting life. Prior to his rant he tells us to take a look at the ant who is always moving forward, content in the day because he was working for the harvest of tomorrow. You see even if you are not happy in this season the seeds that you plant today, are the harvest you will have next season...again not talking about money here... but if you are consumed with your season try getting out of bed and driving downtown, on your way stop and pick up a bag of burgers( double cheese burger - 99 cents - McDonald's) and sit for a while with a homeless person, listen to them, feed them, plant a seed. I promise you you will find an immediate harvest. And then the next day...do it again, or come up with something more creative like fillet Mignon or lobster . I'm almost willing to say that Jesus himself would have gotten depressed if he had just laid around thinking about the old days ...crying in his un-leavened cheerios, longing for a righteous piece of fruit from the Garden of Eden, allowing himself to become consumed with his anger and frustration with Adam and Eve...wishing they would just have gotten it right. The problem was still there, but instead he got up and faced the day, and talked about tomorrow. He hung out and had lunch with the homeless, prostitutes, children, smelly fishermen, the despised and rejected. Jesus planted seeds where ever he went...and because he did we are still delighting in that harvest.

So my friends, if you have found yourself longing for yesterday, let go of the past, kill it, bury it and throw away the shovel, because dead things smell really bad and if you're laying down with the dead you too shall wreak of death. If you find yourself in a seamlessly unending sweltering hot dry season, grab your sweaters and coats and remember that there is a cool breeze in the air, just around the corner, ready to usher in a brand new season, so don't waste the season, plant away and..."God will provide rain for the seeds you sow. The grain that grows will be abundant...Better yet on the Day God heals his people of the wounds and bruises from the time of punishment, moonlight will flare into sunlight, and sunlight, like a whole week of sunshine at once, will flood the land." Isaiah 30:23-26

Daniel 2:21 "He changes times and seasons"

Lamentations 3:22-24 " God's loyal love couldn't have run out,his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (i say it over and over) He's all i got left. God proves to be good to the man who patiently waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when your young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions; Wait for hope to appear. "

Here's to a new season.

Go Live, Go Love.

-Ben

I used "The Message" for all scripture reference in this blog.

Great things come in small email's.

2009-08-20T11:49:00.006-05:00

I recieved an email from my good friend Danica this morning.

I opened it and found a small asian boy playing a guitar.

He played one of my favorite songs for me.

Now I share him with you.

I hope this changes your day, like it did mine.

This is nothing short of amazing.

"In each life some rain falls, but you also get some sun."

2009-08-17T21:30:00.007-05:00

"If what doesn't kill us is making us stronger
We're gonna last longer
Than the greatest wall in China
Or that rabbit with the drum

If there's one thing that I learned
While waiting for my turn
Is that in each life some rain falls
But you also get some sun

And we'll make out better than ok
Hear what I say
Yeah, any day"

"Rosanne" Theme Song
-John Popper , Blues Traveler

Don't You Forget About Me - Remembering John Hughes

2009-08-07T11:13:00.017-05:00

I don't know if it's just because I grew up in the 80's & 90's that I am such a big fan of John Hughes films, or if it is that they are just really truly great pieces of art. All I know is that I can vividly remember where I was the first time I saw "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". I know that "The Breakfast Club" is hands down the best rainy day movie ever. I remember having to compile a list of my favorite movies for a project in elementary school, at the top of my list was "Uncle Buck". Every year at Christmas the family gets together and we watch our favorite Christmas movies...mine with out fail is always "Home Alone". These are more than just films, they mark a good place and time and memory. Every time I hear the Simple Minds song "Don't You Forget About Me" (which I've listened to about 10x's today already) I am transported to detention with the Breakfast Club crew, which is a good thing mind you. I saw an interview with Ben Stein (Ferris Bueller's teacher) the other day and I couldn't keep from smiling "Bueller...Bueller...Bueller...Bueller...Bueller" Ha! And every time I eat pancakes now I think of "Uncle Buck" no one could make pancakes like that guy.

The word "Artist" may not come to mind when you think of John Hughes. As far as I know he never composed a song , or held a paint brush. But the question is what is the definition of art? Something that inspires? Something that conjures emotions...tears, laughter, passion, frustration? Something that can take you to another time and place?

John Hughes was an artist. You may not share in my sentiment, you may like one artist over another... Pablo Picasso over Salvador Dali, Stones over Beatles, Someone else over John Hughes... but none the less he was an artist. His paint brushes: Molly Ringwald, Macaulay Culkin, Matthew Broderick, John Candy, and so many more. His finished works on display in millions of home galleries across the world. Making us laugh, and cry, and laugh again...and as one of my good friends says he was "The creative mind that made it 'OK' to be 'different' "

For me Mr. Hughes is one of the greatest. A true example of what an artist should be...someone who can make you feel.

"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while...you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller - 1986

Kingdom Come

2009-08-05T11:46:00.010-05:00

"It's the simple things that confound the wise,
In order to live you've got to give your life,

Walk a mile in a poor man's shoes,

and when your done, go ahead and walk two,

When you feed the hungry you dine with the King

for what you've done for the least you have done for me.

Let your kingdom come.

Let your kingdom come down to this place

as it is in heaven, Father, have your way

Let your kingdom come.

Like a mustard seed spreads through the land,

let your kingdom come through your people's hand's

let your love break through this concrete world

through the heart of every man, woman, boy, and girl

Let us plant some seeds,
Let us do your will,

Let us shine your light like a 'city on a hill'.

Let your kingdom come.

Let your kingdom come down to this place

As it is in heaven, Father, have your way

Let your kingdom come.

The kingdom is not so far away,

The power of life and death in your hands today,

With every breath you breath, and every word you say,

Everything you do, and every prayer you pray

So choose today, who's it gonna be?

Will you live for you, or will you serve with me?

Let your kingdom come

Let your kingdom come down to this place

As it is in heaven, Father, have your way

Let your kingdom come

I see trees of green, and happy people too,

I see me, loving you,

And I think to myself,

'We could have a new world'

Yeah I think to myself,

'We could have a new world'. "

"Kingdom Come" - Ben Bozon

I wrote this song after reading the book "Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne http://www.thesimpleway.org/shane/. A book that challenged me to read the gospel in a new light, to take Jesus at his word by actively loving "the least of these" despite the complacent view of many modern "Christians" including myself. Thus completely changing my life.

I dedicated this song to my friends on the streets of Cypress and Lancaster.

Feeding the Starving Artist.

2009-07-17T16:42:00.000-05:00

Can some one please tell me why professional athletes get paid millions to play a game, while Artist's starve? It really should be the other way around, if you ask me. Of course that is just my opinion, and if you are a wise person it's your opinion too. . . I'm kidding, I'm kidding . . . hold your stones!

I've heard it said that when given the opportunity you should always support, in what ever way you can, the local artist. I really find this to be a life giving and true statement. I think the world would be a better place, if more people honored local art's (Music, Photography http://jsimonphotography.com/, Dance, Graphic Design, Crafting , Culinary (this is where the link would go if my mother or sister had a website. I've been supporting them for a long time)Mixed Media, Painting, Writing, Drawing...and so much more...like... Graffiti!). We were "hand made" to be like our Creator! "God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature..." Genesis 1:26 ( See Blog Post: Tunuva Neos Zoe) It just seems right to support the people who are creating new things!

In support of my friend Danica Gowan, I have created a logo for her business "Flower Bed Head.com" http://www.flowerbedhead.etsy.com/

Danica hand makes and sells lots of wild and crazy things. If you are looking for a unique gift, for a friend, family member, or just for yourself, go through her. You will not be disappointed.

Also check out http://www.etsy.com/for a hidden world full of artists from around the planet, trying to make a living by hand making really really cool stuff. Support Danica first though, then those other guys! :)

I'm reminded of an experience that my friend Ryan and I had once. He, being another local artist, described this encounter so well here in his Blog post: "The Old Philosopher-Artist-Egg-Painting Men in Our Lives"

Check it out by clicking here.

http://ryanbrownlow.blogspot.com/2009/03/old-philosopher-artist-egg-painting-men.html.

Tunuva Neos Zoe,

Ben

Hug Anyone?

2009-07-14T16:07:00.001-05:00

I came across this poem by Bradley Hathaway (a completly rad spoken word poet) a little over a year ago.
Just heard it again last night.
I love it.

Click here to listen, or just read below.

http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=11239575&ap=0&albumid=2606258

Enjoy.

"The Hug Poem"

" I read about how you touched them and they were healed
Or even if someone just touched your cloak they were forever changed
You let a broken women bathe your feet in her tears
And you washed your best friend’s feet

I am just wondering though did you just ever hug people?
I mean I know that it is a silly question and all
I am sure you would have why wouldn’t you
But its one of those things that was never mentioned
That got me thinking about it
And how whenever there was a touch from you
Sins were forgiven and sickness fell
I think I’m caught up on my sins
last time I checked all my body parts were properly working,
nothing special hereI am just a kid with a heavy heart

These passing sunrises and sunsets

I don’t think our encounter would have ended up in the gospels or anything
Because all I really need is a hug
That is ok for me to imagine right?
That’s not going to be conflicting with any sort of theology is it?

Ok good, then hug me

But not one of these side ways one arm around the neck type hugs
Or the ghetto right hand clasp fists elbows to chest pit pat on the back back
Or you put your right arm over my right arm
and I put my left arm over your left arm
and we make this weird sort of diagonal thing
Nah none of those

BEAR HUG ME MAN!

Take your old school carpenter arms and throw them over my upper body
leaving my arms dangling underneath yours somewhere
and I can barely move them because your squeezing so hard
But don’t pick me up and make my back pop
because I hate it when people do that
And hold me, hold me here in your arms until I start to cry because

I WANT TO CRY

But I just can’t seem to do it on my own
I have been teary eyed once recently
but not even enough for a drip down my cheek
Theres just hurt in my soul that needs to be purged
so hold me in this hold pose
until the pain is flowing from my eyes and nose "

Bradley Hathaway - "The Hug Poem"

LIGHT IT UP! audio blog

2009-07-08T16:34:00.000-05:00

I had the opportunity to speak to my Church as a whole a few weeks ago.

I wont write anything else about it.

Listen if you'd like.

I'm open for ideas, criticism, and thoughts.

Feel free to share.

http://www.chapelcreektexas.com/audio_062809.htm

-Ben

Birthday Cake, Fireworks, & World Peace : Thoughts on the 4th of July.

2009-07-07T10:05:00.000-05:00

I swam in the ocean on the 4th of July while watching fire works and enjoying conversation with my best friend. Other than dodging flying fish, and wrestling the monster waves of the shores of Galveston (It was a yellow flag day) it was a really nice time. It was quite a sight to see as I watched the thousands of Americans lining the sea wall, illuminated and in awe by the beautiful explosions in the sky, filled with alcohol and patriotism.

Tiffany, the daughter of some of the friends I vacationed with, turned 3 on the 4th. It was made known to everyone that this day was Tiffany's day. We celebrated Tiffany. She was showered with shiny multi-colored plastic toys, she ate cake with her hands, and America even rose to the occasion by throwing parades, and shooting fireworks...all for Tiff. Is she going to grow up with a complex or what!

So with all of the birthdays,and celebrations, a thought dawned on me while swimming in the ocean that night.

Birthdays are great because they are about other people taking the focus off of them selves to celebrate one person. Birthday's, when done right, leave a person feeling loved, honored, and accepted, and respected.

I find it extremely sad though, and awkward, and somewhat pretentious when someone throws a birthday for themselves.

Here's the thought.

How great would it be if instead of throwing a big party for ourselves every year, the nations around the world would throw birthday celebrations for one another. What if China threw America a birthday party...do you remember the opening ceremonies at the Olympics this past year?!...that was a party. What if Russia threw Africa a party. What if America celebrated...Iraq?

I wonder if wars would cease. I wonder if we would become a little more concerned about the problems that plague others places. Maybe instead of the world viewing us as fat lazy Americans, they would see some extremely hard working, and loving blue collared individuals that make up this country. I have to think that more people would live to see another day.

I wonder if the worlds biggest problems and divisions would be solved if we were to hand or were handed a piece of birthday cake in celebration of one another.

Another hippie pipe dream? Yeah...but to me it just makes more sense.

Don't get me wrong I'm not knocking America or the 4th of July. I love apple pie, fireworks, and freedom, after all I'm free to write this blog because of what this country provides me with that freedom.

All I know is that Tiffany was a happy little girl on that day, because she was celebrated, and respected, accepted,and honored by her friends, and family.

I wonder if this world would be a happier place if the nations were to celebrate, and respect,and accept, and honor one another by simply throwing them a birthday party.

-Ben

If the Truth Fits...Wear It

2009-06-02T13:30:00.000-05:00

OK, so I have now received both positive and negative feedback from the last 2 blogs I've posted (McIdiot, and Break the Mirror). I loved the positive...and really hated the negative. That's how most things go though, right? We like the people who like and affirm us, and dislike the people who don't. It says something about who we are when someone points out the flaws they see in us...it automatically puts us on the defence. Why do I feel the need to retaliate when someone slaps my face? Why, when some one cuts me off in traffic do I have to honk at them (or worse)?... Why, when a harmless person who makes a mistake at a drive through, do I feel the need to dehumanize him by writing a blog ( that he will never read by the way...I really got him back now didn't I...ugh) Why when someone flys their plane into my building, do I have to bomb their country?...Because I cant be perceived as less than.

"1, 2, 3, 4 I DECLARE A THUMB WAR!"

A children's game at first glance, the human struggle at it's worst. struggling and stretching and bending and breaking, to get to the top. It goes against this human nature to be slapped and turn the other cheek. That's why Jesus said to do it. Because after the fall of man ...human nature sucks!

I received a comment the other day about my "McIdiot" blog. And while I had already felt conviction from Jesus' Spirit about writing it, this person didn't hold anything back. While I didn't think they had the right or authority to say some of the things they said, because they've never taken the time out to know me well enough to make a judgment call about my heart condition,I have to admit that there was something very hard to swallow but oh so very true in what they said."It is real easy to love the oppressed but harder to love the idiots"

That's truth.

And while there are still so many unloved and oppressed people in our world (Aids, Malaria, Starvation, Leprosy, etc.) Some thousands of miles away, some less that a mile away...at least I have a heart for them...and thank God that there are more and more people are developing a heart for them everyday.

That doesn't say a lot for the unloved "idiot's" we come in contact with every day though. It really is hard to love them. As a matter of fact most of the time love doesn't even cross our minds when it comes to them...If someone offends ...retaliate. But as this person said "maybe that boy needed a kind word from someone even though he made a mistake. maybe that boy is a total screw up in everything he does and your attitude added to the despair he feels daily."

My first reaction was to retaliate after reading these things (and a few more) . My thoughts were

"Who does this person think they are?!" "You don't know me!" "Oh No You Di'int". But through everything else, and though I don't think it was handled correctly. I though it was a beautiful thing this person was doing ...Passionately defending the oppressed "Idiots".

I'm doing my best to be transparent and vulnerable these days. I know there is a big risk of being hurt in that, but at least I'm not living a lie of having it all together. I write this blog and all of my Blogs to state that I DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER PEOPLE!

I have come to realize that it's the fool that thinks that he is so wise that he can not learn from anything and everything. Instead of slapping back this time, I realized that this persons words were painful yet true. And it fit me perfectly.

If the truth fits, don't run from it, don't retaliate, just wear it.

Break the Mirror

2009-05-13T10:29:00.000-05:00

Well I've decided that while a trim may be necessary, I will keep the curls.
This decision came after an affirmation secession with a group of Wise Sages,Philosophers, Comedians, Musicians, Theologians, Liberals, Conservatives, and those who fall somewhere in between... all of whom are Lovers(as in people who love)and just all around great company. They told me that my hair was my signature. Some of them even had failed attempts at copying my look. I received compliment after compliment on the locks, and right there, while sitting around a completely unique, scarred, gnarled and beautiful hand made wooden table, I publicly decided to keep my hair.

I figured that the opinion and advice from this group meant so much more to me that that of McIdiot. And while I'm typing I must say I gave that guy (McIdiot) a really bad wrap. For all I know he could have just had Lasic eye surgery, or french fry grease could have splattered in his eye, resulting in not being able to see clearly. So McIdiot, I apologize for my harsh thoughts and remarks in my last blog. But really you should focus more on getting peoples orders right, instead of reading my blogs, oh and a pair of safety goggles will prevent grease in the eye...just for future reference.

As I'm typing I'm listening to Jon Foreman's "Lord Save Me From Myself"
Why oh Why do I hold my self captive to other peoples opinions? I am far to self aware, and self consumed. The Hippie in me boasts of not caring about what other people think of me...But the chains of being a selfish human lock me down. And really the hair thing is just the surface of the issue..."What would people say if i did this?" "What would they think if I wore this"" If I go to this persons house tonight instead of that persons house will they be offended"...these thoughts haunt me daily. And frankly I'm tired of it.

This makes me like Jesus even more ya know. He told me not to worry about me. That He would Take care of me. I believe that the closer I get to this guy Jesus, I will find that it is completely un-cool, and ridiculous to be so self consumed. I don't think he'd give my hair or my shoes, or my clothes, the time of day, but me, my heart, my soul...that's where his concern lies.

I suppose it's kind of how I feel when I see one of my students so desperately trying to be funny, or cool, or liked...it's awkward, it's painful to watch, I feel very embarrassed for them. I think to myself "Man, if they would just calm down, and be themselves it really wouldn't be so hard" I just want to say hey follow me I'll show you that life is better when you just stop trying to get attention, and please everyone by trying so hard to be funny or cool or liked. I'd tell them that the authentic funny, cool, and liked people are the ones who just don't try to be any of those things.

I suppose that's why Jesus says "Follow me" and "Don't worry" ... It must be awkward, and painful, and embarrassing for him to watch me sometimes.

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

-Jesus - Matthew 6:25-33 (The Message)

This reminds me that I still need a savior...and I need my savior to be Jesus. Because there are a lot of saviors out there, but ultimately I believe that they all have the same issues that I do in one form or another. While they might be able to save me temporarily and sweep me off of my feet, and hold me in their arms they too will begin to lose focus on their mission (me). They will see a mirror or something and drop me so they can fix their hair. Not Jesus though. I need my savior to be Jesus. And I need him to save me from myself...today...and tomorrow and ...

I read this Poem the other day... Seems to fit.

"In the morning
After taking cold shower
—–what a mistake—–
I look at the mirror.

There, a funny guy,
Grey hair, white beard, wrinkled skin,
—–what a pity—–
Poor, dirty, old man!
He is not me, absolutely not.

Land and life
Fishing in the ocean
Sleeping in the desert with stars
Building a shelter in the mountains
Farming the ancient way
Singing with coyotes
Singing against nuclear war–
I’ll never be tired of life.
Now I’m seventeen years old,
Very charming young man.

I sit down quietly in lotus position,
Meditating, meditating for nothing.
Suddenly a voice comes to me:
'To stay young,
To save the world,
Break the mirror.'"

"Break The Mirror"- Nanao Sakaki

The Blog That Once Was Here.

2009-05-08T12:23:00.000-05:00

There used to be a blog in the spot of this one.

It was written out of anger and frusteration.

It was ugly.

The reason that I write this in the place of that blog instead of just deleting it is
so the next 2 blogs after this make some sort of sence.

My apologies to any who may have read this blog entry (McIdiot) and been offended.

-Ben

Jesus Christ laid death in his grave!

2009-04-12T08:06:00.000-05:00

Happy Easter!

"Though the Earth Cried out for blood

Satisfied her hunger was

Her billows calmed on raging seas

for the souls on men she craved

Sun and moon from balcony

Turned their head in disbelief

Their precious Love would taste the sting

disfigured and disdained

On Friday a thief

On Sunday a King

Laid down in grief

But awoke with keys

Of Hell on that day

The first born of the slain

The Man Jesus Christ

Laid death in his grave

So three days in darkness slept

The Morning Sun of righteousness

But rose to shame the throes of death

And over turn his rule

Now daughters and the sons of men

Would pay not their dues again

The debt of blood they owed was rent

When the day rolled a new

On Friday a thief

On Sunday a KingLaid

down in grief

But awoke holding keys

To Hell on that day

The first born of the slain

The Man Jesus Christ

Laid death in his grave

He has cheated

Hell and seated

Us above the fall

In desperate places

He paid our wages

One time once and for all"

"Death in his Grave"

John Mark McMillian

Listen to "Death in his Grave"

Grandmothers and Gangsters

2009-04-02T15:06:00.000-05:00

What if every bookstore and library in the world decided to take all of the books off of there shelves.

What if they then stocked every shelf around the planet with billions of copies of the same book.

This would mean everyone would be reading the same thing at the same time.

Think about how easy it would be to carry on a conversation with a complete stranger, and not feel odd at all, because they were literally on the same page as you...or at least in the same book.

This would bring people together from all walks of life. Vagrants and Corporate Executives, Hippies and Republicans, Muslims and Christians, Grandmothers and Gangsters...All sitting down over a cup of coffee or tea (or chocolate milk or beer for that matter) discussing their views on chapter 3.

Think about how many preconceived notions would be shattered once we got to know one another.

Then when we were finished with that book we'd start a new one...and repeat the process over and over again.

Just a thought...maybe a pipe dream.

But then again maybe we could put a little effort towards having conversation with that complete stranger...

Even if they're not on the same page.

Maybe...just maybe the most interesting stories are found in the pages of a stranger.

-B

Inspiration Strikes Again!

2009-03-31T11:38:00.000-05:00

My latest creation.

" BLACKBIRD SINGING IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT "

(Water Colour)

The space between things inspirational.

2009-03-24T15:01:00.000-05:00

I have typed about 10 sentances, and have deleted all of them.

I really want to blog right now...but I have nothing.

I really want to be inspired...but nothing is coming sitting here in the office.

It's a beautiful day

I'm going outside.

-B

The Madness That is Ryan

2009-03-13T09:47:00.000-05:00

My dear friend, Ryan Brownlow, is an extremely gifted writer, contemplator, artist and conversationalist. I would go so far as to say that He will go down in history some day as being one of the greatest thinkers of our time. He has decided to step into the blogging world and try his hand at bringing new idea's and inspiration to those who are lucky enough to happen to stumble across his blog. Instead of stumbling though, I encourage you to not be so clumsy and with determination and vigor leap into "The Madness That is Ryan". Don't just check out his blog...follow it regularly. He has aspirations of being a professional writer someday so it is his desire to get any and all, both positive and negative feed back on his musings, thus shaping him into an even more gifted writer. Who wouldn't like to have a hand in that process. You can follow the link "The Madness that is Ryan"in the column on the right to get to his page, or simply click here http://www.ryanbrownlow.blogspot.com/ . Do your self a favor and become an official blog follower of one of the greatest thinkers of our time.

To: Dr. Brown

2009-03-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

Hey Buddy,

I got our friend Derek and his wife Sarah to put this together just for you. I love you bro.

"In the arms of a good Father
You can go to the deep water
Where the questions, we have left unspoken
Come out in the open
We will find shelter here.

So I lay down, what I cannot hold in my hands
Every sorrow and hope spinning out of control
And here I find sweet resolution comes in letting go
And we will find shelter here"

U2 - No Line on the Horizon

2009-03-03T15:19:00.000-06:00

I have been waiting for this album for 5 years now. It is unlike anything U2 has ever done, but on the other hand it is completly U2. I of course love it. I'm sure you will be hearing it in the near future here and there, but I think for anyone who truly loves music this is a must have to add to your collection.

Bono says "hello" by the way.

Hate, walk out the door. - Confessions of a Tree

2009-02-27T14:20:00.000-06:00

Where do I begin?

The past few days in my life have been some of the best ever. I didn't go on vacation. I didn't become an instant millionaire. Jennifer Aniston still hasn't replied to all of those letters I sent her ( kidding ). I still live in Fort Worth, Texas. All the area coffee shop's are still closed down. I still disagree with a lot of the circumstances that surround me. Nevertheless the past few days in my life have been some of the best ever.

I'm going to just tell the truth here.

Over the past year there have been a few things (and people to be honest) that have really, well... for lack of a more passionate word, pissed me off. It started small. I began developing ideas about how I thought things should be. I read books, I read the Bible, I "studied Jesus" and I witnessed first hand injustice, and unfairness. It seemed that around every corner I saw something else that I thought was wrong, and at the forefront of the "injustice" stood people who thought that these the atrocities were actually good and right. This "righteous indignation" that I had, began to evolve into hatred of these things, and as much as it now pains me to say, of these people. Quite possibly the worst thing of all though, is that I let my hatred leak (and at some times spew) onto other people. The thing about hatred is that it is toxic. It's a poisonous, and contagious rash that spreads from person to person. Before I knew it there were people, that I loved greatly, that had contracted the rash of my hatred.

I felt like a dead tree.

And those around me started to resemble a petrified forest.

When I noticed these things my first reaction was to blame my dying, and root rot, on the circumstances and "evil people" (they aren't really evil... notice the quotation marks.) that I previously mentioned.

Then ... Something started to happen.

It really kind of all started a week ago. A very close friend and I were sitting at a Starbucks discussing our lives, blaming people, and trying to figure out how we had arrived at the state we were in . We by chance (or something else) started talking about scripture. This led to questions, which led to a deeper desire to study the Gospel. On my way home that night I listened to Shawn McDonald's "Pride" and "Free" (I suggest you go listen to both of them now). I felt Jesus that night interceding for me. He knew that a change of heart in Ben Bozon was necessary, and long over due.

A few days rolled by and things started slowly to look different. I felt that if you were to cut me open and look inside that you would see God with his sleeves rolled up, hair pulled up by a bandanna, with a wench and ratchet in his dirty grimy mechanic like hands, working with focus and determination on my soul, pausing only to wipe the sweat from his brow.

By the following Tuesday. I was about to explode. I knew what had to be done.

I met with that same friend. We sat outside of a different Starbucks, drank green tea (TAZO - Zen Green Tea is the best.), I opened my mouth... then it all came out. I confessed to him that what I had been doing for the past year, or more, was completely wrong. How I was great at loving the oppressed, and homeless, and needy...for me they are easy to love. But upon seeing Jesus loving everyone, I realized that having hatred or resentment in my life for anyone is bringing hell to earth, rather than the Kingdom of Heaven! I was being called by Jesus himself to LOVE those who I previously hated even if I completely disagreed with them or had a different vision than they did. And not to just say I loved them, but to show them that I loved them.

There was a lot more to it too, but this is a blog not a book.

Upon saying that I felt that I was brand new. My soul was working in good form once again... quite possibly better than ever! I had been holding on to so much that I finally released! I felt like a caged bird SET FREE! (refer to blog post "My heart ain't built to stay") Love began to win again in my life. I can't adequately describe this with words.

Then something even more beautiful happened.

Turns out God was hard at work under the hood of my friends soul too. He began to open up and speak words of life and love. He said that God was using my words to convict him of his hatred. It was a beautiful conversation... healing, restoring, constructive... loving.

You see, Love has one and only one thing in common with hate. They both spread upon contact. Love is the spreading agent for the Kingdom of Heaven to come. Hate is the spreading agent for hell to come. We must choose...TODAY... who we will serve.

It works people...I have begun to love those I once hated. I have had been able, this week, to physically serve them. I have made it my mission to treat everyone as though they really matter... because they do. It starts with tiny things like a smile, and a hello, or picking up trash in a dirty bathroom when you don't have to, or answering the phone call rather than "missing it". It's these things that bring the kingdom here. Life becomes beautiful.

I have a pear tree in my front yard. Due to winter, it has appeared lifeless, and dead for the past few months... no leaves... no pears...no life... just dry, gray, twigs. The morning following the (Tuesday@Starbucks experience) I was walking to my car, and something caught my eye. The tree that was once dead, and lifeless... had tiny little buds on it. The next morning it had little white flowers on it, and today it had brand new little green leaves on it.

The Scripture reading in the devotional I'm doing (19 Mercies a Spiritual Retreat by Brennan Manning) that Tuesday night was Galatians 5 ... check this out.

^{Galatians 22 -23 "}But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."

This once dead tree has began to blossom, and bear fruit once again.

I can't recall a time when life has been sweeter.

And the Mechanic is still hard at work.

But..."His mercies are new every morning." (Lamentations 3:21-24)

Morning 1

Morning 2

Morning 3 (today)

Sushi?

2009-02-24T12:17:00.000-06:00

I really truly love Sushi.

It's fresh, delicious, beautiful, and exciting. I would love for everyone to experience these tasty morsels of goodness that come in hundreds of different colors, shapes and varieties. More often that not though, to my great disappointment, I find that most whom i offer the experience to will not even taste what I know to be good. This frustrates me to no end, that they would rather stick to there same ol' boring, safe, comfortable, American orange chicken.

*Disclaimer* I do find the orange chicken at The Bangkok House to be the tastiest of the orange chickens, and have been know to consume great quantities of this sweet, citrusy, savory poultry on occasion.

Oddly the combination of this frustration and a character analysis of the man Jesus has lead me to find some really ugly truths about my character as well. I believe that Jesus has already forgiven me for these ugly things I'm finding true about myself. I believe He finds me, in some cosmically mysterious way, beautiful. But I believe he is calling me to leave the ugly things about my character, to enter into the life that he has designed for me. When I decide to stay and reside in the ugly, I have to believe that it makes him sad and frustrated. The same sort of feeling, I suppose, we get when we try to get some one to try something new, that we know is amazing, beautiful, delicious, exciting, (sushi) and they opt to not even try it. OH that frustrates me! And I know that offering a life beyond imagination, to find that we opt to stay with what we know, what is easy, what is comfortable for us must frustrate, and really sadden the man who died so we could taste and see that this life in him and with him and like his is so so so good.

The most recent BIG UGLY that I believe Jesus is calling me to pack up and get as far away from as possible is the soul killer known as "Always opting for the easy way out". I never really noticed it as a serious problem until recently, but once I have began to notice this I really see that this way of living and thinking is directly opposed to the life that Jesus tells me I can have.

The thought just dawned on me that if i were not so concerned about making things easier for myself this world would be a better place. Think about that. If I had just picked up the M&M wrapper that fell from my pocket, the earth would be free from one less piece of litter. If I had decided to paint last night like my soul was telling me to, instead of watching Law and Order, there could be a beautiful inspiring painting hanging on someones wall. If I had taken the time to sit and talk and pray with that lady at the hospital, instead of just telling her I would pray for her dying grandson there could be life restored to a hurt and broken lady. The list goes on and on.

My Aunt (Chippy) used to always tell me when i was helping her cook or clean or something like that "It's a two handed job Ben" referring to me only putting partial effort towards what I was working on. That used to make me so mad, but looking at life now I think she was right.

This life we have been given is a two handed job. Jesus is calling us to do the hard things, not the easy things. He's calling us to pick up trash. He's calling us to walk the extra mile for the person instead of just telling them something to excuse you from the extra mile. The world would indeed be a much better place. So here it is for all the world to see (or at least the 3 people that might read this) .... I'm opting for bringing his Kingdom to earth. I'm opting for the hard rather than the easy. It might take some effort, but the result is a cleaner world, happier people, a healthy soul (and body probably)...and maybe it would wipe one of those tears of frustration from Jesus' eye.

I'm trading in the orange chicken for some sushi.

When Love is the Focus.

2009-02-17T11:51:00.000-06:00

This has been one crazy weekend!

Since Friday I : Officiated 2 weddings ( well more like 1 and a half).

Made Valentines Day dinner for two close and dear friends.

And organized and hosted a Valentine Banquet for over 100 people.

My question is when did I become the "Go To Guy" for Valentines Day festivities?!

And why me? I personally don't even have a reason to celebrate this day of sap and mush!

These were the thoughts running through my mind as I was contemplating the amputation of my feet, post V-Day banquet, on Sunday night.

Of course I'm not really complaining.

I was actually very honored to be asked to officiate the wedding(s) of my best friend from high school. That was defiantly a night to remember...a great memory for sure. And I got a Kick A dinner out of the whole thing.

Making dinner for my two friends on their 8 month anniversary/1st valentines day was really fun and tasty if I do say so myself.

...and as much as I dreaded the Valentine banquet...it turned out to be (according to everyone that came) the best one ever. It kicked my butt, and I'm still recovering from my wounds, but seeing it all come together and making a few new good friends in the process (Danica & Jodie) made it all worth the effort.

So after writing all of this down, these thoughts crossed my mind... The reason these people trusted me with their valentines plans ( weddings, banquets, anniversary dinners) is due to some level of love and respect. So, even though I didn't have an actual Valentine this year, I certainly felt the love. And looking back on all of the stress and worry that these events carried with them, I look back at this weekend and can smile...I can do that because someone loves me so much that he walked firmly behind me with his hand on my back through every stressful step. Thanks God. Nothing compares to your love...really. How great is it to be able to love. Some times I wonder who benefits more the one loving, or the loved. Guess it goes back to that whole "Love never fails" thing. Everyone wins when love is the focus.

Jesus told me so.

2009-02-06T18:57:00.001-06:00

My wings don't sail me to the sky
On my own these wings won't fly
Jesus told me so
Still I'm not so sure that I know

Can't find no rest for my soul
Can't find no rest on my own
Jesus told me so
Still I'm not so sure that I know

Man, the trouble is
We don't know who we are instead

I'll keep runnin' the other way
My heart ain't built to stay
My heart ain't built to stay
And the world just ain't that way

My heart ain't built to stay
My heart ain't built to stay
Jesus told me so

"Trouble Is" - Jars of Clay

I have related so much to this song in the past few days.

I created this little piece of art as a reminder...that

"Jesus told me so"

Coffee House Blues

2009-01-30T10:32:00.000-06:00

A piece of my soul is scheduled to die on Saturday. My favorite coffee shop (Eurotazza) is closing. I have so many good memories at that place...not to mention that they have hands down the best coffee and chai tea known to man (well this man anyway). I know this may sound weird and not worth writing about to most but, really you just don't understand...Ryan will...but the rest of you (like anyone reads this...haha) It's just one of those things you just have had to experience. This just means, Ryan, that Portland ( Land-o-coffee shops) will have to come sooner. Thank you Eurotazza for all of the greatness, I now send you to the coffee house grave yard to join the great ones who have gone before you. RIP Coffee Haus, RIP Four Star, RIP Panther City, and as much as this pains me...RIP Eurotazza. You we're loved like a friend, and the memories will last forever. Another excellent chapter closes...waiting eagerly for the dawn of a new one. WILL SOME ONE PLEASE OPEN A GOOD COFFEE HOUSE!?!

Brand New Day

2009-01-22T10:46:00.000-06:00

I think that for the first time in a long time, the blue and white have joined the red in my veins again. For me, a person who had lost a lot of hope in our country, to regain it once again, gives me an exciting new outlook for the potential of our country... and life, and love in general.

I must say that I don't believe that Barack Obama is the savior of our country, or world, and he's not even anywhere close. I think it is very important that we remember not to idolize this man. All I know is that I have never, in my lifetime, seen so much hope, and unity in my country and it has dawned on the arrival of our the country's very first African American President.

My prayer is that Mr. Obama's claim for America to befriend all countries comes to pass.
My prayer is for the God given protection, safety, and direction of the entire Obama family.
My Prayer is that God is exalted in this mans presidency, and that the ways of Jesus can start to once again be lived through out our nation.
My Prayer is that as followers of Jesus, we will not place all of our hope in one man (Barack Obama) and that we will remember that our first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man, but to a King and a Kingdom.
My Prayer is that the hope and unity that is so strong in our country in these new beginning days, will not fade but grow stronger.
My prayer is that we will allow, by our words and actions, Gods hand of blessing on all of the countries of the world.
My Prayer is that God's Kingdom will come, and His will be done, on earth just like it is in heaven.

ENJOY!

Will-i-am, Faith Hill, Seal, Bono, Mary J Blige - America's Song

Sting & Stevie Wonder - Brand New Day - Neighborhood Ball Inauguration 09

Tunuva Neos Zoe!

2009-01-16T09:43:00.000-06:00

We all have, instilled deep inside of us, a desire for 'New'. The shoes that were so great and new just a few months ago are now just shoes...nothing special...time for new shoes. What about the car, clothes, music? I have around 3,200 songs on my iPod, simply because one song simply didn't cut it. I needed a "new song" (ps 96:1). The desire for something new is part of who we are.

In Genesis 1 we see the world at it's very beginning "was a soup of nothingness" (Gen 1:1-2 MSG)

and then "God spoke" (Gen 1:3 MSG) and creation (oceans, mountains, whales, kangaroos, dandelions,oranges, stars, star fish, ants, ant eaters, sunsets, owls, giant redwoods, snow, sand, ...) unfolds at the word of a artist...a creator. What brings the most excitement, and exhilaration for me in Genesis 1 is found in verses 26-28 though. I hope it does the same for you as you read this.

" God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature so they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, and, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of the Earth." God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God's nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take Charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for everything living that moves on the face of Earth."

If you have never heard anything about the Bible before this and pick it up and read it for the first time, Starting in Genesis, the only thing we know from these first verses is that God is a creator...an artist. Then only 26 verses after God spoke for the first recorded time in history, we find that The Creator creates us IN HIS IMAGE. So far the only thing we know is that God created something new, out of nothing, and then created us, and told us to create!

So many people I know walk this earth stuck in a cycle or nothingness, and boredom. What i am growing to believe though is that we become bored when we are moving outside of how we were created. Every last bit of nothingness and boredom in our lives, is our own fault, because we were created to create. We all were created with the ability to speak something into the "soup of nothingness" in our lives because we were created like the creator. He tells us in verse 28 to "Prosper! Reproduce (not only sexually) ! Fill Earth! Take Charge!" The Greek phrase for this is Tunuva Neos Zoe - Create New Life!

This makes so much sense to me.

Nothingness and Boredom usually tend to lead to Sin, because we try to fill that nothingness with selfish things (think about it) and sin almost always leads to guilt. When we are weighed down with guilt, we cant move how we are supposed to, we cant live to the fullest, life becomes more and more lifeless, so then we become bored again, and sin again, and feel guilty again, and so on and so on. This is why we are told to flee from sin, because sin is anything that takes life away, and God wants us to be fully alive, and creating new life! Get it!? I think I am starting to!

Life revolves around the ING. This is what I mean by that strange sentence. When you see the three letters ing at the end of a word (do-ing, mov-ing, runn-ing, creat-ing) we almost almost always see progression, or moving forward. when we see 'ed' at the end of a word that typically means it has happened or is no longer happening (stopp-ed, mov-ed, creat-ed). I challenge you to look at your life right now and ask your self ...is there more 'ing' or more 'ed' ?Have you cloth-ed the homeless, or are you cloth-ing the homeless? have you creat-ed or are you creat-ing?Have you liv-ed, or are you liv-ing?

I leave you with this thought.

Every book or book series that I have read has a conclusion. The author ends thought, the story is conclud-ed, wrapp-ed up, finish-ed. The last book of the bible though ends with this statement from Jesus himself.

"Look! I am mak-ing everything new" - Revelation 21:5

Find a way to live how you were created to live. Live for someone else besides yourself.

Tunuva Neos Zoe!

(In some places in Africa, people have to walk up to 10 miles just to

gather dirty water to take back to their families. Providing a water

well to a village in Africa is just oneway to "Create New Life". )

"This is not a burden. This is an adventure!"

2009-01-09T15:19:00.000-06:00

My friend Bono expressing his heart, and mine.

"Most will agree that God has a special place for the poor. The poor are where God lives. God is in the slums, in card board boxes, where the poor play house. God is where the opportunity is lost, and lives are shattered. God is with the mother who has infected her child with a virus that will take both their lives. God is under the rubble, in the cries we hear during war time. God, my friends, is with the poor, and God is with us if we are with them! This is not a burden. This is an adventure!"

For Ryan

2009-01-08T11:31:00.000-06:00

When life hands you lemons...

2009-01-07T10:18:00.000-06:00

This is Life!

Elbow - One Day Like This

"The Lights Will Turn On"

2008-12-31T10:04:00.000-06:00

A good friend shared this with me today.

THE MESSAGE IS.58:6-9
"This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts.What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage. Then when you pray, God will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'

I can't begin to tell you how amazingly good it is to know that this is the heart of my God.

Deep : a poem by Ben Bozon

2008-12-11T15:51:00.000-06:00

There is something deep inside me
That I just can't explain
Something in my blood
Pulsing through my veins
I don't know where it comes from
like a storm wind it blows
It's true
It's real
It's mysterious
Like lightning in these bones

You are

Everywhere I look
Everywhere I go
That something deep inside me
Tells me that I know
That something else is out there
Something I can't keep
But the depths of this soul cries out for something more
Something mysterious
And deep

You are

Like a song in my head
Makes my body dance
This deep calling back
Leaves my soul romanced
It always has been
Always will be
Like a bird from a cage
Deep has set me free

You are

So now I fly to you
Untill I find the end
I'm so deep now
I'm back where I started again
But i'll keep flying deeper
Toward what is true
Because the deep in these wings
Brings me to the deep in You.

You are.

Oh, The Beauty!

2008-12-09T16:17:00.000-06:00

Well I'm in a very creative mood right now, but I'm currently stuck at a desk with nothing to do, and am very limited on creative outlets. So I have resorted to the blog.

I cant really begin to explain the feelings I have about life right now. I just know it's good...Life is really good. I have this overwhelming sense of Love, and excitement, and gratitude all the time lately. That's not to say that there are not bad days, but really I have so much to be grateful for and that thought has kept the bad days at bay lately. I'm not rich (rather umm...un-wealthy actually), I don't own many things, I really could use to lose some weight, my favorite jeans just ripped beyond repair (no...not due to the fact that I could lose some weight!...jerk) :) Christmas is just around the corner and I have no clue as to how I'm going to pay for gifts. Some may look at this current condition of mine and think "Man, sucks to be that poor, fat guy with no jeans". I too have thought these things about myself before, but not any more.

See those things are just things. I have something more. These eyes have been opened to something far greater. The beauty of a relationship with the real God.
Through Him I have seen beauty In ways that could never be purchased. I have seen love that goes to and beyond the cross. The cross is the starting point definitely and I will never forget the real, painful, life sacrifice that Jesus went through for me, but again that is just the doorway to an amazing life that can start to be lived here and now through knowing the man who lived with no regret, the man that dwells in the souls of men.

OH I WISH I COULD MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS BEAUTY! but I suppose that the beauty comes in finding it for yourself. Tossing out the window everything you've heard, and been taught and starting a search of your own.

I can't prove God to you, and If I tried I may sound quite foolish. But this truth, this Love, this adventure born in my soul has to come from somewhere. So when I look I find a deeply mysterious force, that when asked to be identified simply replies "I AM" ... "I AM the THE TRUTH, I AM the LIFE, and don't worry about trying to search for a way to the truth and life elsewhere because...umm..yeah... I AM the WAY too!... The WAY to TRUTH, and to LIFE!
And I can see this ANYWHERE, and EVERYWHERE! In the color of fall leaves, In new relationships (Becca) In New/Old Relationships (Brian & Ryan Raz). The thick presence of something greater at the wedding/worship ceremony of my sister (Peyton), and new brother in law (Brandon). In coffee conversations (Ryan), in books, in art, in music, in the unconditional love and faith of a beautiful lady with down syndrome (Aunt Val),in the photography of Jessie Simon (http://www.jessiesimon.com/photos/series_two/index.html) in the heart of my parents, the wonder in a child's eyes (Davis) ... I could go on, quite literally, forever.

So I suppose I just encourage you to look, and If you have it figured out, look again. Embrace life for what it is, and never be satisfied! That in some odd way makes sense to me.

Go... live, go love.

-Ben

I LOVE BARACK OBAMA

2008-12-09T16:12:00.000-06:00

Yes it's true. I love President Barack Obama. A controversial statement i know. What will my parents think? What will my church, and co-workers think? What will my papaw think? My friends? Family? I wonder about all of these as i write this, but one that I don't have to wonder about, the one that i know hands down where they stand, the one who leaves no question in my mind...his name is Jesus.

That's right...Jesus loves President Obama. Jesus also loves former President George Bush, and John McCain, Sarah Palin, Joe Biden, Bill and Hillary Clinton...( i thought about inserting the name Osama Bin Laden here in the mix and then thought that men dressed in black may storm my office with machine guns and bibles...so i decided to anyway because i can not pick the people Jesus loves and he loves with all his heart Osama Bin Laden. I suppose if i am able to finish this letter you will know i have survived) He loves them all. So because I choose to follow after Jesus and copy his ways, that means that i also, if i claim to be a follower of his, must love all of these men and women. I don't have to agree with all of their policies, I don't think that Jesus would either, but then again.... would he agree with all of my policies? I think not.

This my friends is the beauty of the man Jesus. His love transcends all boundaries, races, politics, creeds, religions, orientations, genders, ages, philosophies, and theologies.

We must realize that Barack Obama is just a human like you and I, and we will never have a savior on capitol hill. And we are to love him without condition like Jesus loves you and me.
So join me as I follow the man who brings this love with him everywhere he goes. Join me as I follow Jesus. Join me as I love and pray for our new President, Barack Obama.

God Bless America, and ... Abkhazia – Republic of Abkhazia[5] Afghanistan – Islamic Republic of Afghanistan Akrotiri and Dhekelia – Sovereign Base Areas of Akrotiri and Dhekelia (UK overseas territory) Åland – Åland Islands (Autonomous province of Finland) Albania – Republic of Albania Algeria – People's Democratic Republic of Algeria American Samoa – Territory of American Samoa (US territory) Andorra – Principality of Andorra Angola – Republic of Angola Anguilla (UK overseas territory) Antigua and Barbuda Argentina – Argentine Republic[12] Armenia – Republic of Armenia & Nagorno-Karabakh Republic (Artsakh) Aruba (Self-governing country in the Kingdom of the Netherlands) Ascension Island (Dependency of the UK overseas territory of Saint Helena) Australia – Commonwealth of Australia Austria – Republic of Austria Azerbaijan – Republic of Azerbaijan[13]

Bahamas, The – Commonwealth of The Bahamas
Bahrain – Kingdom of Bahrain
Bangladesh – People's Republic of Bangladesh
Barbados
Belarus – Republic of Belarus
Belgium – Kingdom of Belgium
Belize
Benin – Republic of Benin
Bermuda (UK overseas territory)
Bhutan – Kingdom of Bhutan
Bolivia – Republic of Bolivia
Bosnia and Herzegovina [14]
Botswana – Republic of Botswana
Brazil – Federative Republic of Brazil
Brunei – Negara Brunei Darussalam
Bulgaria – Republic of Bulgaria
Burkina Faso
Burma – Union of Myanmar
Burundi – Republic of Burundi

C
Cambodia – Kingdom of Cambodia
Cameroon – Republic of Cameroon
Canada [15]
Cape Verde – Republic of Cape Verde
Cayman Islands (UK overseas territory)
Central African Republic [16]
Chad – Republic of Chad
Chile – Republic of Chile
China – People's Republic of China[17]
For "China, Republic of", see Taiwan
Christmas Island – Territory of Christmas Island (Australian overseas territory)
Cocos (Keeling) Islands – Territory of Cocos (Keeling) Islands (Australian overseas territory)
Colombia – Republic of Colombia
Comoros – Union of the Comoros
Congo – Democratic Republic of the Congo[18]
Congo – Republic of the Congo[19]
Cook Islands (Associated state of New Zealand)
Costa Rica – Republic of Costa Rica
Côte d'Ivoire – Republic of Côte d'Ivoire
Croatia – Republic of Croatia
Cuba – Republic of Cuba
Cyprus – Republic of Cyprus[20]
Czech Republic [21]

D
Denmark – Kingdom of Denmark
For "Dhekelia", see Akrotiri and Dhekelia
Djibouti – Republic of Djibouti
Dominica – Commonwealth of Dominica
Dominican Republic

E
East Timor – Democratic Republic of Timor-Leste
Ecuador – Republic of Ecuador
Egypt – Arab Republic of Egypt
El Salvador – Republic of El Salvador
Equatorial Guinea – Republic of Equatorial Guinea
Eritrea – State of Eritrea
Estonia – Republic of Estonia
Ethiopia – Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia

F
Falkland Islands (UK overseas territory)[22]
Faroe Islands (Self-governing country in the Kingdom of Denmark)
Fiji – Republic of the Fiji Islands
Finland – Republic of Finland
France – French Republic
French Polynesia (French overseas collectivity)

G
Gabon – Gabonese Republic
Gambia, The – Republic of The Gambia
Georgia [23]
Germany – Federal Republic of Germany
Ghana – Republic of Ghana
Gibraltar (UK overseas territory)
Greece – Hellenic Republic
Greenland (Self-governing country in the Kingdom of Denmark)
Grenada
for a list of the rest of the countries that Jesus loves visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries

Go Live, Go Love.
-Benjamin Grayson Bozon

Seasons

2008-12-09T16:00:00.000-06:00

I'm not a big fan of Summer. Especially in Texas. The sweltering heat, and the suffocating humidity are enough to drive a person to the point of insanity. I can't count the number of people i have seen recently, walking into gas stations, driving down the road, braving a journey from parking spot to grocery store door, over a black top parking lot, just a few degrees cooler than the pits of hell. Sweat rings under the pits of even the most hygienic of people lead to furrowed brows, which leads to head ache, which leads to frustration, which leads to desperation which leads to ... insanity. Some will argue that the summer is the best of the seasons ... closed schools and swimming pools. Don't get me wrong I'm not a despiser of swimming pools, a swimming pool is good to "beat the heat" but my point is the heat would not need to be beat if the heat was non existent, or at least turned down considerably, as found in seasons such as fall, winter, and spring. For the die hard swimmers there are always year round indoor swimming facilities. As for school being out, it really doesn't affect me much, but for some of the people the i love it brings a much needed break from the torment of the school year, and to that i say every thorn has its rose. Bottom line is I'm not a big fan of summer.

I can remember as a child being outside on the playground during recess on a hot summer day towards the beginning of September. The sun was waging war against me and the rest of my forth grade class mates. Then I remember it like a scene from a movie, Charlton Heston before the weather torn red sea, or like that semi-lame movie Deep Impact about the asteroid hitting earth causing monster tsunamis, and tidal waves. Everything went went to slow motion as we witnessed a tidal wave of dust and leaves being pushed towards us by black and silver thunder heads on the north end of the playground. And with the dust and leaves...arctic air. The temperature must have dropped close to 30 degrees as that one gust of wind ushered in the beginning of a new season. It was beautiful, exciting...cinematic, a day i will never forget. Ecstatic about the new season, the next day we wore sweaters and jackets during recess, it was around 75 degrees (this is Texas remember) a little warm for sweaters by most peoples standards i know but we did not care...summer was gone, fall had arrived and we celebrated it like a birthday, beanies being warn though...in place of party hats.

Just like the 4 seasons come and go and come again, it is inevitable that we go through seasons and changes in our lives as well. Some are almost unbearably hot, some bring a cool breeze, some can be bitter cold, and some can bring a freshness, and new life. What saddens me is when people get overwhelmed with the season at hand and instead of pressing on through the unbearable heat or bitter cold, you lay down and give yourself over to the vultures (or polar bears, depending on your season). The way i see it is too many people are longing for yesterday (no offence Mr. McCartney). It is so sad to see a person who thinks that their best days are behind them, the middle age man stuck in the glory days of high school football, the unsatisfied married couple who are consumed in wishing for things to be how they were "back then". The truth is yesterday is gone and will never ever be back again. We are not how we were, and things are not how they used to be. Constant comparing leads to nothing but misery and depression. If your always looking back, and holding on to how things were, then you aren't free to embrace today, and you will never be ready for the next season.

In Proverbs Solomon speaks to the person consumed with the current circumstances, he asks " So how long are you going to laze around and do nothing? how long before you get out of bed? A nap here, and nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back , take it easy - do you know what comes next? Just this: You can look forward to a dirt poor life, poverty your permanent house guest!" (Proverbs 6:6-11). Now even as wealthy as he was I don't think Solomon was preaching necessarily about monetary prosperity, after all he was the wisest man ever to live i don't think he'd put up with prosperity preaching,but that's another blog. I think Solomon is speaking about harvesting life. Prior to his rant he tells us to take a look at the ant who is always moving forward, content in the day because he was working for the harvest of tomorrow. You see even if you are not happy in this season the seeds that you plant today, are the harvest you will have next season...again not talking about money here... but if you are consumed with your season try getting out of bed and driving downtown, on your way stop and pick up a bag of burgers( double cheese burger - 99 cents - McDonald's) and sit for a while with a homeless person, listen to them, feed them, plant a seed. I promise you you will find an immediate harvest. And then the next day...do it again, or come up with something more creative like fillet Mignon or lobster . I'm almost willing to say that Jesus himself would have gotten depressed if he had just layed around thinking about the old days ...crying in his un-leavened cheerios, longing for a righteous piece of fruit from the Garden of Eden allowing himself to become consumed with his anger and frustration with Adam and Eve...wishing they would just have gotten it right. The problem was still there, but instead he got up and faced the day, and talked about tomorrow. He hung out and had lunch with the homeless, prostitutes, children, smelly fishermen, the despised and rejected. Jesus planted seeds where ever he went...and because he did we are still delighting in that harvest.

So my friends, if you have found yourself longing for yesterday, let go of the past, kill it, bury it and throw away the shovel, because dead things smell really bad and if your laying down with the dead you too shall wreak of death. And if you find yourself in a seemlesly unending sweltering hot dry season, grab your sweaters and coats and remember that there is a cool breeze in the air...just around the corner ready to usher in a brand new season, so don't waste the season, plant away and..."God will provide rain for the seeds you sow. The grain that grows will be abundant...Better yet on the Day God heals his people of the wounds and bruises from the time of punishment, moonlight will flare into sunlight, and sunlight, like a whole week of sunshine at once, will flood the land." Isaiah 30:23-26

Daniel 2:21 "He changes times and seasons"

Lamentations 3:22-24 " God's loyal love couldn't have run out,his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (i say it over and over) He's all i got left. God proves to be good to the man who patiently waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when your young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions; Wait for hope to appear. "

Here's to a new season.

Go Live, Go Love.

-Ben

I used "The Message" for all scripture reference in this blog.